I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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