have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize