I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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