I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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