just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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