Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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