just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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