the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize