My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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