the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
