i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
