from now on my penis is your penis
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
