Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
