So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
