you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
