bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
