So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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