The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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