i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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