Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
