so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
You are a booty call, not a friend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
