the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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