In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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