I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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