Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
