When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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