Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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