My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
