When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize