He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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