Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You pole danced in your parka.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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