The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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