My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
