Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
