I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
