Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
