I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
