tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
