bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Ketchup is God's man juice
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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