Where did you get a picture of my penis
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
