if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
