seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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