Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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