If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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