it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
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