Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
