somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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