On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
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He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
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You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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