i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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