Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
