You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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