i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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