are you still at the devil's house?
so that wasnt chicken after all
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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