So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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