it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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