so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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