I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize