I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
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