I wish I could teleport
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
My vagina just recognized that song.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
